When is it time to reinvent yourself and start anew? How many times in our lifetime do we have to think about a new phase, a new process, a new you? Why do we even have to go there again and again? Because we are all about cycles, rhythms, and renewal. Our whole physical experience is about cycles and beginning and ending.

Step One: Identify the Habits of Identity

Your thoughts are not the same as your intuition. It can be difficult to discern the difference between the two. Your thoughts are a system of experiences, social conditioning, habits, and the attempt to preserve the ego. But here are some ways to evaluate your thoughts.

If you are an empath you are highly attuned to and sensitive to the emotions of others. You might often feel what others are feeling as if they were their own emotions. Some empaths are so sensitive and unhealed that they have completely shut themselves off to knowing that this is what they are doing, which may make them come across as hardened or cold.

People who feel the need to use a lot of external signals to create space, such as tattoos, dark clothing, touch looking facades, are often very sensitive empaths who have not discovered any other way to protect themselves.

This ability to deeply understand and connect with others' emotions can be a source of great strength and compassion. However, it can also be a challenge, as you can easily become overwhelmed by the emotions of others.

But what happens when people are telling stories to themselves and others about you, that you don't notice or you aren't part of directly? Or when realities are being formed in other people's minds about you and your actions that don't match your reality?

We have all heard the down and out stories of how people hit rock bottom and that was the catalyst for the rising up. We have heard those stories of triumph over the impossible negativity we see in the world. We are overcoming little "rock bottoms" all of the time. It is our success over our struggles that gives us the trust in ourselves to take risks and carry on. It is the success in our moments of weakness, that remind us of our strength.

Maybe the situation you are in has all the perfect healers in them. They are inviting you reevaluate your life rather than just going through the motions. See if you can find the gift in the chain reaction they have set off for you. Decide if you want to learn your lessons or keep the chain going until you do. Your higher self wants the lesson or you wouldn't be there with it. Send them people who bug you the most gratitude, forgiveness and love and then do the same for yourself.

Here are a few tips for upgrading your story:

• Focus on what you liked about your story. What are the good things in your life? What are you grateful for?

• Allow your negative feelings to be validated and transform into your strength. Know you can come back from these hard places over and over. Not that you want to, but you absolutely can!

• Ask for help and let others give you compliments. Let others tell you what they admire about you. Let them share what they think is so great about your story.

• Allow others to live their best lives the way they see fit. Stop judging everyone else for what they are or are not doing. Focus on yourself and what you want.

Separation and connection are two fundamental aspects of human experience. We are separate individuals with our own unique thoughts, feelings, and set of experiences. Yet we create the reality of who we are as individuals through the eyes of others. Our lives are intertwined with the lives of others, and our actions have a ripple effect on the world around us and how we see ourselves in it.

Let's get real, no one goes through life without the sting of betrayal. It is part of the journey we are on. As you become more aware of the concept that you create your own reality, you must also take responsibility for everything you experience as something you have created.

Although it is a cliché, it is absolutely true. We are playing out energetic patterns of reality we have implanted in our unconsciousness. We attract the same bad job, relationship, friends, etc. (or good ones) because of how we connect with that pattern of relationships.

In my work as an intuitive healer, I am finding that the law of attraction lesson is stressing people out. They are hearing that the things that have happened to them in their lives are because of them. And instead of vibing up, they are then turning on themselves, beating themselves up, rather than loving themselves in a positive direction.

People spend a lot of time in my office asking me "Why do I keep attracting this?!" The interesting part of the law of attraction, etc. is that the more we ask that question, the more opportunities we have to answer it with those things we keep attracting. We attract more and more of the things we find so irritating until we figure out why it is we find it irritating, to begin with.

This is a difficult concept for people to get when it comes to the teachings of this manifestation magic. They want to believe they are a victim of their life. Maybe because it is easier than taking full responsibility. Maybe it is because they don't know where to start if they have to think they are the point of focus. Or maybe it has something to do with fitting in with other people who are struggling to manifest the old ways. Whatever the reason people want to reject this idea, is the very reason they are having these experiences.

We often dismiss the whispers. Why? Well, it can be for a variety of reasons, but mostly because we are stuck in one way of being. Until we are ready to adopt a new way of being, we tend to try and stick with our standard plans.

When something comes along and knocks you off of your axis, you tend to throw our arms up and say "why does this always happen to me?" You might try and still cling to the old way of being and responding, making it even harder on yourself and daring the universe to knock you over again. And undoubtedly it will.

I have been a long-time rescuer. Since I was a child I surrounded myself with people in need and offered to help them. I had convinced myself that I was helping everyone. But the truth is I was helping no one and maybe even making it worse. Why? Because I was validating them as a victim. Holding space for their suffering.

Instead, what I could’ve done was hold space for their empowerment. I could have investigated with them, why they were where they are and help them see that they can get themselves out of it. I could have offered them a compassionate witness to their life, rather than seeing them as needing my energy.

I’m glad to say I have begun to learn my lesson. Being an intuitive healer with helping guides helps. They remind me every day that no one is a victim. We are all divinely wise creating our experiences in order to learn.

So how can you tell if you’re empowering someone versus rescuing someone? Here are a few tips I use for myself to keep in alignment with the truth that I can help you grow as an individual, but I can not fix anything for anyone.

The self-help community talks a lot about being positive and using positive perspectives and perceptions to manifest. The books, tapes, and lectures all go over how your feelings can be changed to change your experience in any given situation.

But what if no matter what you do, you can't think positively? What if you are a totally connected person most of the time, but today you just can't see the good in the world? Is something wrong with you? Do you have a block? Are you losing your enlightenment? No, of course not. The human experience is designed to be a range of experiences. The good, the bad, the hard, the easy, all wrapped up into one giant box called life.

For the most part people don’t see you, they see their idea of you, through their own filters of what they are. It is important to remember this when taking feedback from other’s or allowing other people to be the directors of your inner story.

On the flip side, it is also important for you to remember you do it too. Take ownership of your projections as your own inner truth and you have a whole new way of working with subconscious mind. Working with the subconscious mind, helps you see how your reality is being shaped by beliefs that you have, that you don’t even know you are manifesting from.

As far as I can tell, low self-esteem is a real epidemic. People are running around feeling bad about themselves or pretending to be better than others, or both. It causes problems in relationships, anxiety disorders, the inability to make decisions or achieve goals. It brings people to act smug to each other, keep secrets and hold grudges.

Why are we feeling so terrible about ourselves? Don't we all deserve to feel good about ourselves, no matter what anyone else is doing? Let's tackle those insecurities! This is part of that awesome shadow work we could all benefit from doing more of.