If you know me, you know I find myself getting mixed up in all kinds of "acts of service". Most of these are useful to the world and give back to me as I give. However, there are some acts of service I find myself doing out of obligation or out of fear that if I don't do it no one will, and it must be done. 

When I look at the energetic imprint of both types of service I clearly can see that the times when I do things out of an authentic desire to be of service is the times that both the receiver of my service and myself truly get the gift I am intending to give. However, on the flip side, when I act in service out of obligation I am blocking both myself and the receiver from everything but the feeling of obligation.   

This week, a client asked me about overcoming fear surrounding their newfound interest in metaphysics. She expressed concern that her friends and family would think she has lost her way or is getting into something scammy. I get it, fear of the unknown is real, especially with metaphysical mysteries. She wanted to explore energy healing and her own intuition, but she was concerned it would break the rules that she was living by in her family, religion, and friends.

Unemployment, divorce, or any kind of life experience where you feel rejected can feel devastating to your manifesting space. If you let it, these kinds of experiences can leave you feeling victimized, wounded, and unworthy to have the world work in your favor. 

There are periods when we can also get convinced people only like us for what we can give them, not because they authentically like us. We get angry because we feel used and alone in our most vulnerable times of need.

But this doesn't have to be a blow to the manifester inside and in fact, can actually strengthen your abilities to create an authentic life. 

Often times people ask me, "Why the heck did I attract this? What could I possibly learn from this experience?" To that I always respond (generally with a giggle) "Oh so much!" And I am not just being optimistic. 

Here are some tips to identify the root issues of your patterns.

In relationships, we spend a lot of time trying to be seen. Our points of view, convincing others to see our side of things, trying to get people to acknowledge the efforts you have put in, etc. No matter how hard you try and be seen and how much you are seen, they are still seeing their point of view from their point of view and vice versa. It is impossible for anyone to completely see your point of view because there is only one seat at that table.

All of your life experiences make you unique in how you perceive things. Scientists have studied this concept for a long time. They have studied consciousness, identical twins, and things like the Mandela effect (false collective memories.)

When is it time to reinvent yourself and start anew? How many times in our lifetime do we have to think about a new phase, a new process, a new you? Why do we even have to go there again and again? Because we are all about cycles, rhythms, and renewal. Our whole physical experience is about cycles and beginning and ending.

Step One: Identify the Habits of Identity

As you probably already know, empaths are often known for their sensitivity, compassion, and ability to understand others. But why are most empaths also known for being too sensitive, lacking boundaries, getting easily overwhelmed, and even physically unhealed? The unhealed empath faces a unique set of challenges that can be difficult to navigate, even for the most seasoned self-helper.

An unhealed empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the emotions of others, but who has not yet developed the skills to manage their empathic abilities healthily. This can lead to several problems, including:

• Feeling overwhelmed and drained by the emotions of others.

• Struggling to set boundaries and say no to others.

• Taking on the responsibility of fixing other people's problems.

• Having difficulty expressing their own needs and feelings.

• Experiencing anxiety and depression.

If you are an empath you are highly attuned to and sensitive to the emotions of others. You might often feel what others are feeling as if they were their own emotions. Some empaths are so sensitive and unhealed that they have completely shut themselves off to knowing that this is what they are doing, which may make them come across as hardened or cold.

People who feel the need to use a lot of external signals to create space, such as tattoos, dark clothing, touch looking facades, are often very sensitive empaths who have not discovered any other way to protect themselves.

This ability to deeply understand and connect with others' emotions can be a source of great strength and compassion. However, it can also be a challenge, as you can easily become overwhelmed by the emotions of others.

But what happens when people are telling stories to themselves and others about you, that you don't notice or you aren't part of directly? Or when realities are being formed in other people's minds about you and your actions that don't match your reality?

Maybe the situation you are in has all the perfect healers in them. They are inviting you reevaluate your life rather than just going through the motions. See if you can find the gift in the chain reaction they have set off for you. Decide if you want to learn your lessons or keep the chain going until you do. Your higher self wants the lesson or you wouldn't be there with it. Send them people who bug you the most gratitude, forgiveness and love and then do the same for yourself.

If you are an empath, you know first hand how everyone is feeling because you feel it too. Empaths have the ability to sense a room with their own senses. They don’t just observe what is happening, they feel it. This can be a blessing and a curse.

The blessing is, you tend to be very compassionate and willing to see someone else’s side of things. The curse is you sometimes can’t tell the difference between your feelings and someone else’s. Learning to manage your empathetic side can turn this skill into a healing gift. Learn more about how to use this gift in my course on energy healing.

Communication is often the root of our problems with others. We may misunderstand what someone says, or they may misunderstand us. This can lead to conflict and resentment.

But what about the way we communicate with ourselves? Do we always listen to our own thoughts, feelings, and needs? Or do we often ignore or deny them?

When we don't communicate effectively with ourselves, it can lead to problems in all areas of our lives. We may make poor decisions, feel stressed or anxious, or have difficulty achieving our goals.

Here are a few tips for upgrading your story:

• Focus on what you liked about your story. What are the good things in your life? What are you grateful for?

• Allow your negative feelings to be validated and transform into your strength. Know you can come back from these hard places over and over. Not that you want to, but you absolutely can!

• Ask for help and let others give you compliments. Let others tell you what they admire about you. Let them share what they think is so great about your story.

• Allow others to live their best lives the way they see fit. Stop judging everyone else for what they are or are not doing. Focus on yourself and what you want.

Separation and connection are two fundamental aspects of human experience. We are separate individuals with our own unique thoughts, feelings, and set of experiences. Yet we create the reality of who we are as individuals through the eyes of others. Our lives are intertwined with the lives of others, and our actions have a ripple effect on the world around us and how we see ourselves in it.

Let's get real, no one goes through life without the sting of betrayal. It is part of the journey we are on. As you become more aware of the concept that you create your own reality, you must also take responsibility for everything you experience as something you have created.

We often dismiss the whispers. Why? Well, it can be for a variety of reasons, but mostly because we are stuck in one way of being. Until we are ready to adopt a new way of being, we tend to try and stick with our standard plans.

When something comes along and knocks you off of your axis, you tend to throw our arms up and say "why does this always happen to me?" You might try and still cling to the old way of being and responding, making it even harder on yourself and daring the universe to knock you over again. And undoubtedly it will.

I have been a long-time rescuer. Since I was a child I surrounded myself with people in need and offered to help them. I had convinced myself that I was helping everyone. But the truth is I was helping no one and maybe even making it worse. Why? Because I was validating them as a victim. Holding space for their suffering.

Instead, what I could’ve done was hold space for their empowerment. I could have investigated with them, why they were where they are and help them see that they can get themselves out of it. I could have offered them a compassionate witness to their life, rather than seeing them as needing my energy.

I’m glad to say I have begun to learn my lesson. Being an intuitive healer with helping guides helps. They remind me every day that no one is a victim. We are all divinely wise creating our experiences in order to learn.

So how can you tell if you’re empowering someone versus rescuing someone? Here are a few tips I use for myself to keep in alignment with the truth that I can help you grow as an individual, but I can not fix anything for anyone.

But here is the thing, our bodies are always helping us listen to our energetic health and what we are resisting or allowing. For example, when I am in a massage or physical therapy and they encounter a tight spot, my body flinches and protects the spot. It is painful and I don’t want to feel this pain. At this point in the massage, I have two choices, skip the spot or dig in deeper.