Shushed and Shunned No More

As social creatures, we learn from a very young age what is acceptable to our fellow humans and what isn’t. When we are children, we take in the world without filters. We absorb the patterns and thoughts of those around us. Our energy system begins to form and categorize our beliefs, which later shape our realities. We use our energy systems to form our lives through our vibrations. 

Your Roots

Where you grew up has a lot of influence on what you felt safe to express. The influence of the culture, religions, family and friends, and so much more, impact how you are able to access your authentic self versus the self you use to show the world the person you think they want to see.

Brain science tells us you didn’t even have a filter for the first seven years of your life. Your system was open and downloading the reality you were born into. Your system was learning, without a filter of right and wrong, all the things you needed to be, think, and feel to belong to the family system you were born into. I would guess most of you would look back on your family of origin during that time and know you wouldn’t want to be manifesting from that place now.

Time to Grow Up

Even as we go into adulthood, we care what other people think, often to our detriment. We place too much of our self-worth on other people in our lives. I hear so many people say, “I am 50 years old, you would think I would stop caring about what my crazy sister thinks.” But we do care. We care, and they don’t have enough information about us to accurately assess who we are. To top things off, we are filtering the world through their values, not ours.

We constantly shush and shun each other for things we find inappropriate. This is the only way we know how to get others to change their behavior. We are censoring each other and trying to control how they make us feel, while they try to control how we make them feel. The message gets jumbled. The message that comes across is “you are bad” instead of “what you are doing is making me feel bad, and I want this to change.”

Is there a better way to set boundaries for ourselves and to no longer control others or be susceptible to being controlled by them? Balancing our energy field requires significant awareness of the masculine and feminine energies. Allowing them to have equal power in your space is critical for good health on all levels. As we continue this discussion, know this energy is in inside yourself, not outside.

Change Your Relationship With Protection

Masculine energy is about boundaries within oneself. The ability to do what is right for the single person, despite what is happening around them. Masculine energy is the action-taker and decision-maker within us.

Because of our battle for equality, not just feminism, but our right to be equal on all levels with each other, our ability to access our masculine and feminine energies have been jumbled. We view the need to be protected as a weakness. We don’t have a good relationship with what it means to honor and protect ourselves, not with fists and guns, but with shielding and removing ourselves from a situation.

The difference is like putting on bug spray because you don’t want to be bitten versus spraying the entire forest to kill every last bug. The latter is impractical and uses more energy than needed to get the desired results.

The Balancing Act

First, it is important to know that there is no good or bad masculine or feminine energy. Either can be expressed negatively when things are out of balance, which normally comes from an incorrect relationship with the two energies.

Next, you need to understand where you are currently. Are you balanced in your relationship with protection and vulnerability? Do you have a healthy relationship with the fragile side? Who did you learn this from? Is there a desire within you to change it?

Finally, you'll need to make peace with your ideas or "programs" about gender and about what it means to be your gender. Release any victim energy (victim or victimizer) you find around it. Allow yourself to acknowledge and redefine these energies.

The Healing Work

Keep in mind that you are not healing the world with this work, just yourself. The relationship with masculine and feminine energies within your own system is all you need to care about. You will shift the world by focusing on you.

Focus your attention on what is soft and gentle within you. How are you feeling as you focus on this? Can you soften your response and bring in more joy and love for these gentle sides of yourself? Use your body and emotions to bring awareness to your relationship with these sides.

Next, focus your attention on protecting yourself. Telling others "no" when you need to and leaving situations you find threatening. Can you soften your response and bring in more joy and love for these protective energies? Say “thank you” to the energy of protection and allow it to do its job.

As you bring this awareness to the forefront, notice how it plays out in your life. Notice who you feel more comfortable around and what energy they are using most. Use this information to create real change in how you interact with the world.

It takes practice to change a habit, so give yourself space to play and learn about this shift. 

---

---

Some Meditations for Support

---

Upcoming Events