Go it alone
Sometimes we have to go it alone in our search for the answers to what our life is all about. Breaking off from the herd is a good thing in soul expansion. It allows us to break out of our molds and ruts to find new ways of viewing the world.
However, other people tend to get nervous when we start to change the script. They wonder what we are up to and are thrown off by the change required from them to allow you this space. They fear for your well-being, safety, and decision-making abilities. If we go really off-script, they don't trust us, and here is where the magic happens.
We learn not to trust ourselves or to finally trust ourselves. Choose wisely my friend, this is where the rubber meets the road in change.
“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”
Other people don’t know any better than you
The reason others don't trust us is because they are seeing our lives from their perspective, their experiences, their way of thinking, not ours. So really, they don't have enough information to make a judgment on it. We are the only ones who have all the facts to decide what is right for us next.
I often see people trying to shed their need for external validation. Struggling to become something bigger and break free from what others think about what choices they are making. Breaking the need to have other people tell them what they are doing a good job or doing the "right" thing.
This can be very painful and difficult. We are naturally wanting to connect with each other and this process can feel like a death of some sort. When we break off from the herd we feel the loss of that energetic exchange that we have grown to think we need.
As you break away from the need for external validation, you can feel isolated, alone, unsure of what this means for our connection to others in our life. It can often leave you feeling crazy, ungrounded, and unsure about what to do next.
Truth is, sometimes you just need this break from other people's opinions so you can remind yourselves of what your own ideas are. Sometimes you need a little isolation to reconnect with your own truth. It doesn't mean that you are not going to have people in your life who love you and support you. It just means you will get back to yourself first and go forward wanting people in your life, not needing them. There is so much more freedom in that!
Take time to reflect
Notice where you are addicted to external validation. Do you try and convince other people that your ideas are the right ideas? Perhaps you go around telling everyone your plans for the next new phase in your life, hoping that they tell you what a good idea it is. Do you let other people take you off your path because they told you it wasn't right in some way?
Own up to your life as you have made it. Congratulate yourself for how far you have come in your own decisions. Pat yourself on the back and move forward with confidence that even the apparent wrong decisions, were right for you then.
You are taking yourself on a journey and only you can validate that it is where you want to go. Experience what you want to experience, regardless of other people's opinions. Release the need to have other people tell you how good you are, what a good decision you made, or that you are "right."
Take responsibility for your own choices and notice where you are addicted to having other people validate you and see if you can validate yourself instead.
Validate who you are and the rest of the world will tend to agree. Those who don't, just won’t. Be you and the rest will follow.
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