Often times people ask me, "Why the heck did I attract this? What could I possibly learn from this experience?" To that I always respond (generally with a giggle) "Oh so much!" And I am not just being optimistic. 

Here are some tips to identify the root issues of your patterns.

Time is just another tool in your perceptual toolbox. Play around with various time keeping tools, blocking off times of day for specific tasks you might not otherwise felt you could get to. You will seem, all of the sudden you have time for that thing you never thought you would. 

If you are an empath you are highly attuned to and sensitive to the emotions of others. You might often feel what others are feeling as if they were their own emotions. Some empaths are so sensitive and unhealed that they have completely shut themselves off to knowing that this is what they are doing, which may make them come across as hardened or cold.

People who feel the need to use a lot of external signals to create space, such as tattoos, dark clothing, touch looking facades, are often very sensitive empaths who have not discovered any other way to protect themselves.

This ability to deeply understand and connect with others' emotions can be a source of great strength and compassion. However, it can also be a challenge, as you can easily become overwhelmed by the emotions of others.

When you are in a time of transition, for example moving to a new house, new job, new relationship, etc. you are feeling unclear about where you are headed and nervous about what you are leaving behind. It is a gap between the known to the unknown. But the gap is where the freedom lies.

Right before you start that new job, you can release old patterns of being at work and start fresh. Right before you move to a new house, you can go through your things and clear out the things you no longer need. This is an excellent time to reevaluate, slow down, and recreate.

You are not yet in an automatic pattern or have gone unconscious with your day-to-day. What a great opportunity for awareness and intentionally creating new relationships with you day-to-day.

We have all heard the down and out stories of how people hit rock bottom and that was the catalyst for the rising up. We have heard those stories of triumph over the impossible negativity we see in the world. We are overcoming little "rock bottoms" all of the time. It is our success over our struggles that gives us the trust in ourselves to take risks and carry on. It is the success in our moments of weakness, that remind us of our strength.

Maybe the situation you are in has all the perfect healers in them. They are inviting you reevaluate your life rather than just going through the motions. See if you can find the gift in the chain reaction they have set off for you. Decide if you want to learn your lessons or keep the chain going until you do. Your higher self wants the lesson or you wouldn't be there with it. Send them people who bug you the most gratitude, forgiveness and love and then do the same for yourself.

If you are an empath, you know first hand how everyone is feeling because you feel it too. Empaths have the ability to sense a room with their own senses. They don’t just observe what is happening, they feel it. This can be a blessing and a curse.

The blessing is, you tend to be very compassionate and willing to see someone else’s side of things. The curse is you sometimes can’t tell the difference between your feelings and someone else’s. Learning to manage your empathetic side can turn this skill into a healing gift. Learn more about how to use this gift in my course on energy healing.

Let's get real, no one goes through life without the sting of betrayal. It is part of the journey we are on. As you become more aware of the concept that you create your own reality, you must also take responsibility for everything you experience as something you have created.

If you’re an introvert, you know that being around other people for long periods of time can get exhausting!

Consciously using your energy field is easy. The trick is to do it when you are under pressure. The best way to flex this muscle is to practice, so when the pressure comes, you already know how it feels to be balanced.  Giving conscious attention to your energy, arms length around you, is all you really need. Acknowledging how you want to feel in your personal space and who you authentically are.

The Tao Te Ching says "The way takes no action, but leaves nothing undone." This simply means that just by being where you are you will automatically go where you are headed next. Let yourself rest in knowing this and relax. Hold off on requests from the universe for just a minute and see what is already unfolding at your feet. 

People spend a lot of time in my office asking me "Why do I keep attracting this?!" The interesting part of the law of attraction, etc. is that the more we ask that question, the more opportunities we have to answer it with those things we keep attracting. We attract more and more of the things we find so irritating until we figure out why it is we find it irritating, to begin with.

This is a difficult concept for people to get when it comes to the teachings of this manifestation magic. They want to believe they are a victim of their life. Maybe because it is easier than taking full responsibility. Maybe it is because they don't know where to start if they have to think they are the point of focus. Or maybe it has something to do with fitting in with other people who are struggling to manifest the old ways. Whatever the reason people want to reject this idea, is the very reason they are having these experiences.

We often dismiss the whispers. Why? Well, it can be for a variety of reasons, but mostly because we are stuck in one way of being. Until we are ready to adopt a new way of being, we tend to try and stick with our standard plans.

When something comes along and knocks you off of your axis, you tend to throw our arms up and say "why does this always happen to me?" You might try and still cling to the old way of being and responding, making it even harder on yourself and daring the universe to knock you over again. And undoubtedly it will.

I have been a long-time rescuer. Since I was a child I surrounded myself with people in need and offered to help them. I had convinced myself that I was helping everyone. But the truth is I was helping no one and maybe even making it worse. Why? Because I was validating them as a victim. Holding space for their suffering.

Instead, what I could’ve done was hold space for their empowerment. I could have investigated with them, why they were where they are and help them see that they can get themselves out of it. I could have offered them a compassionate witness to their life, rather than seeing them as needing my energy.

I’m glad to say I have begun to learn my lesson. Being an intuitive healer with helping guides helps. They remind me every day that no one is a victim. We are all divinely wise creating our experiences in order to learn.

So how can you tell if you’re empowering someone versus rescuing someone? Here are a few tips I use for myself to keep in alignment with the truth that I can help you grow as an individual, but I can not fix anything for anyone.

The self-help community talks a lot about being positive and using positive perspectives and perceptions to manifest. The books, tapes, and lectures all go over how your feelings can be changed to change your experience in any given situation.

But what if no matter what you do, you can't think positively? What if you are a totally connected person most of the time, but today you just can't see the good in the world? Is something wrong with you? Do you have a block? Are you losing your enlightenment? No, of course not. The human experience is designed to be a range of experiences. The good, the bad, the hard, the easy, all wrapped up into one giant box called life.

But here is the thing, our bodies are always helping us listen to our energetic health and what we are resisting or allowing. For example, when I am in a massage or physical therapy and they encounter a tight spot, my body flinches and protects the spot. It is painful and I don’t want to feel this pain. At this point in the massage, I have two choices, skip the spot or dig in deeper.

The importance of mental health is attributed to better overall health, with lowered stress responses in the body.

Many years ago, I was reading Dragonspell to my oldest son, when I ran across the perfect line. A line that I thought was so true I was inspired to blog on it. The line said "I'm changing so much on the inside. I keep learning things that seem to me I should have known all along."

How true this is? When you are in a self-transformation, the changes are happening in places no one can see, but everyone around you can feel. We are discovering things about ourselves and the world in a whole new way. Often, this new awareness and knowledge feel like things we should have known all along. Probably because we do know it, we just chose to keep it hidden until we were ready to remember.