Years ago, my 10 year old son called me from school to tell me that he cut his face on the playground. I asked him if his glasses were broken. No. I asked if he need to come home or go to the doctor. No. So then I gave him what he really called for, which was mommy sympathy.

I didn't cry for him that it happened or share his pain, which would be empathy. I just told him I was sorry that happened and asked him how he was and gave him my love and understanding while allowing him to have his own feelings. This isn’t always easy to do, especially for those you love. But because I could do that, the pain ended quickly.

Empaths Absorb Other’s Feelings

If you are an empath, you know first hand how everyone is feeling because you feel it too. Empaths have the ability to sense a room with their own senses. They don’t just observe what is happening, they feel it. This can be a blessing and a curse.

The blessing is, you tend to be very compassionate and willing to see someone else’s side of things. The curse is you sometimes can’t tell the difference between your feelings and someone else’s. Learning to manage your empathetic side can turn this skill into a healing gift. Learn more about how to use this gift in my course on energy healing.

compassion, sympathy, empathy and all things in between

As you are out in the world engaging with people, it is important to know how to tell the difference between compassion, sympathy, empathy and all things in between. All of them can be psychically tricky.

Although many of us are empaths and, without trying, feel what the other people are feeling, empathy can be a very tricky energy. Sometimes empathy just drags you down into what that person is feeling and offers no help, guidance, love, or support. I like to refer to this as getting into the mud with someone to try and get them clean. Now you both are dirty and you are getting nowhere.

Often times, all we really want is to tell our stories and process. When we complain about work, family, friends, etc. we aren't saying "fix this for me," we are simply saying "listen and sympathize." Sympathize means to offer understanding to the situation. The thing to be careful with on this one, is if you feel worry or pity for the person telling the story. Now you are adding psychic junk and weakening their energy field.

Compassion can be a useful psychic offering. We can have compassion for the victims of a wildfire. We can have compassion for our dying grandmother. We can even have compassion for our children when they are struggling with situations we can’t control. Compassion is the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy (for the suffering of others) and is what I call being “the sacred witness.” I believe learning to use compassion as an energy is a critical part to our human existence, experience, and spiritual growth.

Energetic Gestures of Support

There are a few ways to quickly check in with yourself about what energy you are offering to someone else’s struggle.

• Check your motives. What are you trying to make happen? Don’t try and “fix.”

• Check your feelings. Are they yours or theirs?

• Don’t assume or elaborate. Ask questions and reflect back what you are hearing.

• Remember we all want love.

• Don’t buy into the “victim” energy. Empower.

• Self-reflect on your interactions often.

I am always open to hearing your thoughts. Feel free to share.

Use Midnight Indigo Spray in times of stress, trouble, fear or worry.