As I was preparing for the passing of my father’s mother, I became acutely aware of unfinished business within myself about it all. There was a lot of love and positive memories to celebrate. There were people that framed a big chunk of my childhood to be reunited with. 

But there was also a cloud, left by the loss of my father, suddenly on Christmas Day in 2018. There were a lot of dark feelings haunting me from a lifetime of feeling cheated out of time with my father. But that is a long story and one I am not going to get into because the focus of this blog is about changing the narrative. 

The point is, I had to make a decision about whether or not I was going to return to a place that I had visited as a child many times, but that no longer held a tender spot for me. I consulted with my oracle cards, my heart, and my guides. I asked for many days in many ways for clear messages on what to do. Every time I got “change your story.” 

The people who know me well know how hurt I have been. They know how long of a road it has been for me and they encouraged me to not return. I appreciated their wisdom, but also knew better than to ignore my spirit guides. 

My Story

I finally came to the conclusion that I should go. I came to the conclusion that it would be healing and appropriate for me to show up one more time for someone who held a huge heart for me. 

My guides assured me it would be healing, and it would open me up to a new story…a NEW story. Isn’t that what we all need to manifest the life that we truly want? If our life isn’t all that we hoped for, the only way to change it is to change the story. 

When we are working with the law of attraction, the stories that we tell ourselves are key to what happens in our life. I admit, I was continuing to tell myself a painful story. I was telling myself a story of abandonment and isolation. 

These stories were true. My feelings are valid. And boy can I complain! I am so good at telling the story about my struggles and my resistance to reality. So, what I experienced was very hard for me. While I was not making any of it up, I was also not seeing the whole picture. My manifesting mistake was that I wasn’t allowing the story to do what it was there to do. I wasn’t allowing it to alchemize into the present truth. 

I also wasn’t bringing in all the bits. I was focused on the pain. But the pain was not true for everything that has happened in my life. The woman who was my grandmother, my father’s mother, was amazing. She was one of my heroes. 

She embodied much of what I value in myself today. She was an outspoken woman when it wasn’t easy or even allowed. She encouraged other women to be strong. She gave back to her community through volunteering and empowering others. She was always willing to talk to a stranger and laugh and tell jokes. 

She was smart. She had so much life in her - even up to the end. I am grateful that she was part of my life and shaped some of my stories and very much helped shape who I am. I am also an amazing manifester and some of it has to do with her influence. 

The other part is my understanding of the law of attraction. I understand manifesting through hard work and through surrender. I understand what it’s like to have a lot and sometimes only a little. But I am working on my stories right now. I’m working on the stories that are coming to fruition every moment based on my thoughts and what I put out there, 

I am re-writing some things not because I want a perfect life or even more of something. I am changing my stories to update myself to the present time and to bring myself to the full potential of who I am, from all that I have experienced. I desire to unlock my next phase and the only way I can do it, is to upgrade what I say to myself.

The Game Plan

First, Watch My Mouth

Here are a few things I’m going to try for myself that I thought I would hand off to you as well. I would love to hear how it goes if you implement these techniques. 

First, I am going to watch my mouth. I’m gonna watch what I tell people. I’m gonna watch the stories I tell. I am going to listen carefully to what my mouth says and pay attention to what might be manifesting in my life that is undesirable because of it.

Second, Change the Energy of the Story

The teaching stories, the stories of lessons and expansion, I will keep. Even the struggling ones. But the energy from which I will tell them will be an energy of gratitude for experiencing the lesson and moving on from it. I will tell those stories from the gift of the struggle. I will tell those stories from a source of strength and for my own resilience. 

I will also work on telling good stories more often. I will work on seeing what’s right and not just what is wrong.

Third, Think About What I Want

I will sing the praises of the things I genuinely am happy about and I will hold my tongue when I see a problem that is not mine to solve. I am going to put myself in the position to speak more about the reality I am experiencing currently and about the things I would like to see more of. 

I will turn my eye to the things I wish to see, and I will be grateful when there are contrasts of what I don’t — which make it even more clear to see what I do want! I will give genuine compliments, gratitude, and smiles where they are earned. I will spend more time remembering all that is good in my day.

Fourth, Permission to My Feelings

I will also take some time to calm my mind, feel into my emotions, and let them be there. Let them be true. Give them permission so they may flow out of me instead of getting stuck inside. 

I don’t need external validation for these feelings. I don’t need anyone else to tell me it’s okay to feel the way I do. I will give myself that love and appreciation and I will give myself the time to process those emotions without adding to the suffering or struggle. 

Fifth, Accept Other People

I will stop resisting what is and accept others’ choices. I will allow myself to see my shadow in others when they are making me uncomfortable. I will see myself in these actions, and I will let myself do the work of reflection, change, and growth. 

I will stop resisting who other people have shown me they are. I will allow them to be who they are, and I will allow myself to be more of who I am, and both can exist at the same time. Maybe not in the same room. Maybe not even in the same state. But they can exist. Both of them can exist. One does not negate the reality of the other. 

Final Step, Receive

Lastly, I will allow myself to be supported by my friends. I will ask for help when I need it. I will ask to be held accountable for my vision for myself and my life. I will say “thank you” when someone sees my light. I am also going to be honest when I see my light is out and I am hurting.

With all of this, I manifest my next chapter with more of my present strength, resilience, and knowledge-empowered. I am grateful for the life I have and have had and I look forward to the next phase. 

Join me?

The stories we tell ourselves have a significant impact on our lives. If we want to manifest the life we want, we need to change the stories we tell ourselves. We need to focus on the positive, and we need to believe in ourselves. We need to rewrite our stories to create a more positive and fulfilling reality. Not in a false way, but in a true, present-time way.

You are the author of your own life. If you want to know about the story you outlined before you were born, check out my class on soul contracts. 

Your Next Step

If you are ready to change your story, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on your past and to envision your future. What do you want your life to be like? What are your goals and dreams? What have you already had, been, and done that was amazing?

Here are a few tips for upgrading your story:

• Focus on what you liked about your story. What are the good things in your life? What are you grateful for?

• Allow your negative feelings to be validated and transform into your strength. Know you can come back from these hard places over and over. Not that you want to, but you absolutely can!

• Ask for help and let others give you compliments. Let others tell you what they admire about you. Let them share what they think is so great about your story.

• Allow others to live their best lives the way they see fit. Stop judging everyone else for what they are or are not doing. Focus on yourself and what you want.

I believe in you! You can change your story and manifest the life you want.