What you are really asking for when you feel betrayed is to be put first. To matter the most when other people are making choices. You are asking another person to be loyal to you and fulfill their obligations to you, either spoken or unspoken. You want to feel as if you put someone's best interest at heart, they would do the same for you. 

What you want to keep in mind is you allowed this experience to occur for the purpose of teaching you a lesson. Deep inside you, your soul yearns to learn more about itself and contracts with others to help you do so. If you’re having trouble shifting into this mentality, I highly recommend checking out the book Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping.

SHIFT IT

If you are placing blame and energy onto the person who betrayed you, you are not taking full advantage of this experienced emotion. Feel this pain, fully and whither in the truth of how you feel. Don't rush it. Use it to help you understand yourself better. This pain is a triggering presence. It is also triggering you to gain more awareness of yourself.

Being the creator of your own reality, you must then ask yourself these questions:

• Do I put myself first?

• Am I sacrificing myself for others in an unbalanced way?

• Is it easier for me to find betrayal in people rather than be vulnerable enough to ask for loyalty?

• Do I expect to be wronged by others?

• Am I a loyal person?

• Do I easily give trust to others or hold back, beginning relationships assuming others can't be trusted?

Explore these questions with honesty and you will begin to utilize the painful betrayal to know what vibes you want to put out to create in the future.

WHAT ABOUT THE PERPETRATOR?

What about the one who wronged you? What will you do with them? Revenge! 

No...this is going to be hard to acknowledge, but the first thing you want to do is have compassion for them. Whatever they did to you was not about you, it was about them. 

You will not be able to teach them a lesson or make them understand what they have done to you by dwelling in negativity. It is also not going to keep you from ever being betrayed again. The only way to truly move out of this situation is to commit to owning the only side you have any control over - your side, and your shadow that you are unwilling to see in yourself. See what they are mirroring for you and what you cannot accept in yourself about the situation. 

The contracts or lessons this person is offering you is also something to explore. Ask yourself what opportunity is trying to be offered. What can you learn, What have you learned? It is possible this person is here to teach you and once you learn, you will both move on. 

If this person is a toxic presence to you, then it may be time to admit the current state of the relationship. Take ownership of your role in the situation and what intentions you would like to create going forward. Put your focus on what you truly want to create next in your relationships and create some boundaries for that to happen. 

If this person is simply acting out a role for you right now, then admit that too. Maybe this person is just attempting to help you develop a much-needed shift in your life. 

MOVING ON

The most helpful step that you can take for yourself is to commit to being with the feeling, learning your lessons, soul contracts, and then move on to live in this more expansive state, embracing your own shadow and full expression of self. If you have chosen to use victim energy to decode and make sense of this situation, you will never fully be able to be free from the betrayal. 

It is a gift that you can give to yourself to commit to fully feeling into your experience in order to learn from it and move on from it, rather than allow it to create walls and wounds that will never heal completely. 

Forgiveness is the most significant gift that you can give yourself when it’s all said and done. But don't rush to the end of the story too quickly; or else you'll miss the whole point.

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